Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
