and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
