if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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