No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
