Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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