do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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