Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
