I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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