i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
