I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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