kristin has been a bad kristin
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
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