I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
