dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
