having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
