sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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