he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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