took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
