Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
