Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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