is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
