life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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