Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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