Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
