He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
