her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
