If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
