your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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