You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Houston, we have a squirter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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