can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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