the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
