Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Why are your pants in the freezer?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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