I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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