my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize