This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
