i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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