90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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