I wanna passion pit in your ass
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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