Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize