Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
