can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize