can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
