just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
