the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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