we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
