Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
