I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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