very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
