All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
