I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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