Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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