Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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