The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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