Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
