You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
