A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
