a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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