and you said cock pushups were impossible
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
