The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
