3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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