well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
