Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
