Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
