I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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