I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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